Big Bandaids and Little Puppies

I haven't written a blog for a while. My Imposter Syndrome symptoms have been quite high.

But I have taken a big dose of reality and a few positive pills and here I am putting my thoughts to paper again. You see the fight between ego and self is a hard one for me. I had a discussion with someone recently who insinuated I was wasting my life. Their perception of my life belongs to them.

Luckily, I have enough people who understand me who would absolutely disagree with that.

I am invested enough in that relationship to have a frank discussion about their perception and my reality. But I am human, and it frustrates me that I have to explain myself over and over again. Even to people close to me.

I also have had to rethink my language and labels as some people get triggered by certain words. A word like God can make people run in fear or stay and get angry. The same entity or feeling called something else doesn't have that effect on them. If I use the word 'faith'it seems like I am preaching or relying on an unknown source for peace.

I try not to put labels on things. I just use tools that help me to have a reason to seek out the good things in the middle of a shit show and find a reason to get out of bed.

The term," Death by a Thousand Cuts'' was given to me about how someone felt about their life at the moment. Of course, it's quite sad that that is how they view their life right now. But even though it feels like tiny cuts every day, apparently leading to a slow death, there is still a puppy that can make you smile, or a breathtaking sunset, or a belly aching laugh session with good friends to take your mind off that awful feeling. That could be classed as faith or could be positive thinking. It could be distraction, appreciation or whatever you feel like calling it. It has the same effect and if I can use that to get through another cut and apply a big band aid to get some good stuff in then call it what you want.

As far as retiring or wasting my life, I am not about to do either of those things yet.

Here’s to big band aids and little puppies to help make your day better